You’re engaged. Congratulations, gorgeous! I’m sure that you probably have a million and one things to do, but I’m going to need your undivided attention for the next few minutes. Now that you have officially been initiated into Team Bride-To-Be, you’re probably aware that, as with anything else, there’s a bit of an etiquette involved in the wedding planning process. Specifically, I’m here to discuss wedding planning etiquette as it relates to the workplace. Weddings are a big deal, and they tend to make people a little bit zany—even those who are not getting married themselves. To keep things running smoothly at your job and to avoid offending your coworkers on the road to “I do,” be sure to abide by the following rules.
Put a cap on the gushing
I know that you’re thrilled, and you should be. Getting married is a huge deal. However, you should realize that just because you’re over the moon doesn’t mean your coworkers are. If you work together in a small space, try to limit that number of times you tell your engagement story, or at least find a way to condense it. While your cubemate probably enjoyed hearing you dish on how he popped the question the first and second time you delivered the news, I can guarantee you that the story will be a little stale by the fifth go round.
Never, ever, discuss numbers
Just as you would not discuss your salary, you should refrain from discussing wedding-related figures like your budget and how much your ring costs. It’s tacky and unnecessary. I made the mistake of disclosing my budget to a coworker once, and I instantly regretted it. You never want to overexpose yourself to colleagues.
Refrain from wedding planning at work
There will be times when you’ll need to make a tiny tweak to your guest list or respond to a quick email from your caterer, but please don’t make this a habit. As your wedding date draws near, you’ll find that your nuptials are on your mind all of the time, but this is when you must practice self-control. Full-on wedding planning on company time is not okay, and it’s a sure way to find yourself on your boss’ bad side. I once knew a woman who was fired because she spent hours finalizing her wedding plans during business hours. Don’t let this be you. The last thing you want to be doing is stopping by the unemployment office between consultations with your photographer and florist.
Limit wedding talk—especially if you won’t be inviting anyone from the office
Giving coworkers a play-by-play on plans for your wedding will sometimes give them the impression that they’re invited—even if they’re not. To avoid awkward encounters, try to keep these conversations to a minimum.
Give your boss a heads-up
As soon as you establish honeymoon plans and are aware of any other wedding-related time off that you will need, consider giving your supervisor a heads-up by submitting your time off requests well in advance. This will give your team ample time to establish a game plan for how to split responsibilities in your absence.
Try not to exclude
If you work in a department of five (not including yourself), and you only plan to invite four of them, please rethink this. This will create division in your unit and will likely leave the odd girl out feeling pretty crappy. In situations like this one, an all-or-none deal might be best. Even if you’re not working in a small department, it’s a good idea to tell the coworkers who are invited to keep quiet about the fact that they’re invited. It’s not going to go over well if they’re going around the office blabbing to everyone about making “the list.”
I realize that etiquette can sometimes be a drag, but a wedding only lasts one day, and you’ll probably need your job once it’s all said and done. Wedding planning, when you’re broke and unemployed is no fun, so play nice!